“Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.” ~Paulo Coelho ~ ELEVEN MINUTES
Love, today is supposed to be full of it. How's that working out for you? Has traffic flowed smoothly for you? Everyone stopped texting on the road and let you in their lane? Did your eye stay away from that nasty office clock telling you that the day is far from over? It doesn't matter if what you thought Valentine’s Day should have been didn't quite work out. We are creatures of expectations. Learned not inherited. There is a beautiful scene in the movie 500 Days of Summer (I recommend it) where the main character is invited to a party by his ex (awkward). They’re supposed to be friends now. Well the screen is cut in half and on one side is what he expected/hoped would happen and the other what actually happened. So ultimately it was the same scene played two different ways at the same time. How many times has the movie in your head rang false?
In my action/romance/drama/comedy life that I made up in my own head I’m already a famous musician/actor with a wife, kids, dog, and a talking parakeet that only says hilarious things for comic relief or tells me when someone talks behind my back. But the reality of my situation here, now, is beautiful, a beautiful struggle. I can’t wait to tell my kids about the mixtapes my girl and I exchanged this valentines that cost us nothing but time. Wait, I’m projecting into the future again. Man, this is hard. What I meant to say is I’m enjoying now. And although I have big big dreams for the future that includes all of you, I look around and there are a lot of amazing and talented people around me. In you I have found love that has always been inside me. So to all of you reading this and to all that has touched my life I say to you, Happy Valentine’s Day. I’d get you all a card, but instead you truly have my heart.
You’re Challenge For The Week:
Tomorrow (or today), see how present you can be for one whole day. Anytime you start to feel like someone or something isn’t living up to what you “expected” imagine the closing credits rolling on that film and that you are finished with that movie. Let it go, laugh about it, shrug your shoulders and let what was was and what is is. I often try to notice my breathing, since it the source of everything and the most present thing about you. Try it for a day and get back to me. I’m interested in hearing the results. Believe me when I say I slip into expectation mode all the time. So I’m not going to say it’s going to be easy. But they say if you can get even a small % better day by day, eventually you will be better than you ever knew.
On A Personal Note:
Playing a lot of shows this month, make sure you check my calendar; I’m all over the place. And it’s my birthday. And true to form I am throwing another BBQ/Party. If you know me well and didn’t get an invite, holla at your boy, I may not have all of your information. You do not want to miss this one.
The book is coming along quite well. Jerrica and I are so wonderfully different in our style and approach but we work so well together. I think what we put together is going to be unlike anything you have seen. We were just getting excited putting together the first draft! We hoping for a May release but keep your fingers crossed. And then onto the MixTape for DJ Gill Sotu…the people have asked, and I will deliver, eventually. Oh and I’m going to be involved in a huge project with the owner of my record label Cixi Digital Records. It’s going to be a game changer. No, seriously. I’m keeping this one close to the vest cause I don’t want someone stealing this idea. 2011 is our year ya’ll.
In honor of Valentine's Day, here is a small present, hope you enjoy it. Join us for a special Train of Thought for a special love theme show! www.trainofthoughtsd.com
UNTITLED
He yelled
She cried
He laughed
And she danced
He gambled
She starved
He leaves
She waits
He slept
And she took a breath
Be careful
when you pick your gods
They may just turn out
to be men
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Paradise Of Strangers
ALERT!
There seems to be an epidemic going around, perhaps on mist of the current state of illness that is also getting passed from folk to folk. In this modern day of flying machines and words, pictures and sound travelling invisiblly from one box to another around the world, it seems that nothing is impossible. That maybe true, but for something to live, something else often parishes. i think in this case, in our case, what is dying is the word NO.
What happened to NO you might ask? Well it seems a lot of good people became so worried about being KNOWN as good people they hurt themselves in the process of pleasing others. They become sick, broke, lonely, resentful, angery, over promising and under delivering GOOD people. What good is doing something nice for a person if you are going to resent them for asking you anyway? If someone asks you to do something for them, like (and im just throwing this out there) going to gillsotu.com and buying a copy of my new cd, if not for you then as a gift for someone who needs good music in their life...you have the option to decline. Not lie, not exaggerate, as to why you dont want to. Not even elaborate as to why you cant. Just a good old fashion "No, thank you."
When did we get so scared to tell our truth? When did we decide that we were so despicable that no one would appreciate the real us. It may be shocking to the reciever of that NO, but aren't you a little tired of living the life someone else wants you to? Now dont get me wrong. there will be and should be lots of occasions you do something for someone you love when you don't want to. Such is life, such is love. But i know there are times when you really got stuck or dragged something out because you were scarred to be you. It is ok to be a loving as well as an honest person. im saying this to myself as well as to all of you. I get asked to do so many shows and events and charities and "business opportunites" and although id like to entertain them all, i simply cannot. So lets be each other's support group and learn to be happy being honest, and not always see it as a bad thing.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT FOR THE WEEK:
Give that person you have been putting off the answer you have kept in your heart for a long time. whether it is a no or a yes, but be honest. dont hesitate, don't wait for the perfect opportunity. If this doesn't apply to you, pick someone that means something to you, tell them something honest that you have been wanting to say (hopefully its good).
This week, try to catch yourself telling small lies and/or exaggerations. correct yourself instantly. I haven't mastered this skill in myself, i am only aware of the problem. i will be with you brothers and sisters. be well.
On A Personal Note:
Valentine's day is approaching, a lot of people really hate this holiday. Usually it is ones who are alone or hate giving gifts in the first place. (im not judging, im just sort of validating you. i understand) i am indifferent about it, but i like doing nice things for the one i love. What sort of bothers me is that so many people need an official date to do something nice. But for those alone or those with someone and still lonely, this poem is for you. it is from a free write called Paradise of Strangers. It goes back to being honest. the scene in the poem is a couple who walks into a party at the verge of breaking up but pretend everything is ok. Lying for the sake of lying because we dont want to be pitied. but at the same time we are dying inside. That is why i call it the Paradise of Strangers. Sometimes when you are tired of being you, meeting strangers is the greatest thing. you get to reinvent yourself everytime. So here it is:
PS...So you gonna buy that CD right?
Until then, be now
Gill
Paradise of Strangers
In a paradise of strangers we are silent/
They mask our shame/
They laugh above our insecurities/
We hide comfortably amongst the people who don’t give a damn about us/
Its been so long I can’t remember,
is this what we said our love was gonna be/
We run into the conversations of others for a distraction of who we are/
Water to the dehydrated
With you I feel I am king of a desert
Ruler of isolation/
Your indifference is a silent sun, beating upon me/
And I’ve been lost so long I really cant remember,
Is this what we said our love was going to be?/
I can’t help but to watch you trying/
Standing amongst the strangers
Holding a flashlight above your head/
A fake shine
The rumor is everything between us is fine/
And as I leave you claim I am not feeling well
Another mirage in my desert
I put on my crown
And walk out into nothing
There seems to be an epidemic going around, perhaps on mist of the current state of illness that is also getting passed from folk to folk. In this modern day of flying machines and words, pictures and sound travelling invisiblly from one box to another around the world, it seems that nothing is impossible. That maybe true, but for something to live, something else often parishes. i think in this case, in our case, what is dying is the word NO.
What happened to NO you might ask? Well it seems a lot of good people became so worried about being KNOWN as good people they hurt themselves in the process of pleasing others. They become sick, broke, lonely, resentful, angery, over promising and under delivering GOOD people. What good is doing something nice for a person if you are going to resent them for asking you anyway? If someone asks you to do something for them, like (and im just throwing this out there) going to gillsotu.com and buying a copy of my new cd, if not for you then as a gift for someone who needs good music in their life...you have the option to decline. Not lie, not exaggerate, as to why you dont want to. Not even elaborate as to why you cant. Just a good old fashion "No, thank you."
When did we get so scared to tell our truth? When did we decide that we were so despicable that no one would appreciate the real us. It may be shocking to the reciever of that NO, but aren't you a little tired of living the life someone else wants you to? Now dont get me wrong. there will be and should be lots of occasions you do something for someone you love when you don't want to. Such is life, such is love. But i know there are times when you really got stuck or dragged something out because you were scarred to be you. It is ok to be a loving as well as an honest person. im saying this to myself as well as to all of you. I get asked to do so many shows and events and charities and "business opportunites" and although id like to entertain them all, i simply cannot. So lets be each other's support group and learn to be happy being honest, and not always see it as a bad thing.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT FOR THE WEEK:
Give that person you have been putting off the answer you have kept in your heart for a long time. whether it is a no or a yes, but be honest. dont hesitate, don't wait for the perfect opportunity. If this doesn't apply to you, pick someone that means something to you, tell them something honest that you have been wanting to say (hopefully its good).
This week, try to catch yourself telling small lies and/or exaggerations. correct yourself instantly. I haven't mastered this skill in myself, i am only aware of the problem. i will be with you brothers and sisters. be well.
On A Personal Note:
Valentine's day is approaching, a lot of people really hate this holiday. Usually it is ones who are alone or hate giving gifts in the first place. (im not judging, im just sort of validating you. i understand) i am indifferent about it, but i like doing nice things for the one i love. What sort of bothers me is that so many people need an official date to do something nice. But for those alone or those with someone and still lonely, this poem is for you. it is from a free write called Paradise of Strangers. It goes back to being honest. the scene in the poem is a couple who walks into a party at the verge of breaking up but pretend everything is ok. Lying for the sake of lying because we dont want to be pitied. but at the same time we are dying inside. That is why i call it the Paradise of Strangers. Sometimes when you are tired of being you, meeting strangers is the greatest thing. you get to reinvent yourself everytime. So here it is:
PS...So you gonna buy that CD right?
Until then, be now
Gill
Paradise of Strangers
In a paradise of strangers we are silent/
They mask our shame/
They laugh above our insecurities/
We hide comfortably amongst the people who don’t give a damn about us/
Its been so long I can’t remember,
is this what we said our love was gonna be/
We run into the conversations of others for a distraction of who we are/
Water to the dehydrated
With you I feel I am king of a desert
Ruler of isolation/
Your indifference is a silent sun, beating upon me/
And I’ve been lost so long I really cant remember,
Is this what we said our love was going to be?/
I can’t help but to watch you trying/
Standing amongst the strangers
Holding a flashlight above your head/
A fake shine
The rumor is everything between us is fine/
And as I leave you claim I am not feeling well
Another mirage in my desert
I put on my crown
And walk out into nothing
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Spoken Word, Imaginary Mothers, and DeLoreans
A Little Known Fact About Me,
I am notorious for talking to myself. At least the people in my head know that i am notorious for talking to myself. Come on ya'll whose with me? Nobody?
When i was a kid and would come home late, i knew i was walking toward a whuppin'. On the path home during those days the wind would slice against my skin a little colder, the sky could never quite find its truest blue, and i would find myself carrying on a conversation with my imaginary version of my mother. It went a little deeper than what you would think, i would actually speak both roles (hers and mine) out loud. I made her cunning. Able to predict my every rebuttal. Before i realized it im doing spoken word on the side of the road. Now this was the days before cell phones were so small they can fit in the change poket of your jeans. So me speaking to myself on the side of the rode definetly made an impression to onlookers.
But i can honestly say, that's where i honed my skills, i rapped, sang, beatbox, made up stories, and argued with my imaginary mother, emotions and all, walking Ventura Road, Oxnard Blvd, Channel Islands, Saviors rd, everywhere. I worked out problems, ran away from home temporarily (long story), everything. From elementary till my senior year, 80% of where i wanted to go i walked, for hours at a time i would walk, and because of that and who i became you are reading this now. I thank you for that.
I'm in San Diego now. I drive most places. really have no one to answer to and no reason to make up conversations and stories except to share with you so that i don't lose that child in me. Sometimes now, i make up conversations on what i would tell the teenage me if i could. If i found a Delorean and could shoot back in time, what would that conversation be like. What would i ask 50 year old Gill if i could go in the opposite direction? I have no regrets. Life has been good to me. But i would have some interesting things to say to 12 year old Gill.
Here is your challenge if you choose to accept it:
Set your alarm for 10 minutes. close your eyes and have an imaginary conversation with the the 2021 version of you. Let him or her speak frankly to you. I know a lot of people give you advice. It's on talk shows, internet, movies. Just this once, listen to what you have to tell yourself. I think we have always had the answers. Often we are just afraid to listen.
these challenges come strictly from spirit. I have no clue as to what im going to write when i sit down monday nights. I didn't even know that i was going to start offering weekly challenges. i just know this is for you. Don't ask me how i know, i just do. So do it! ha ha!
On Another Note:
Its a month of love, black history, and my birthday. Is there no greater month than feburary? Because of that, im going to include a very sexy/romantic song for you. It's off my album Flawed American Male. It's called "I Can't Imagine" and its featuring none other than the legendary Kevin Sandbloom (pictured above). I feel so blessed to have worked with him. He is simply amazing and has a voice like no other. This is the perfect gift to give to someone you love. And since i love you all equally, i present this to you. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!
Until Then,
Be Now
Gill
For show schedule, booking, and free downloads go to:
www.gillsotu.com
Train of Thought Open Mic Experience
Every Tuesday Night
www.trainofthoughtsd.com
I am notorious for talking to myself. At least the people in my head know that i am notorious for talking to myself. Come on ya'll whose with me? Nobody?
When i was a kid and would come home late, i knew i was walking toward a whuppin'. On the path home during those days the wind would slice against my skin a little colder, the sky could never quite find its truest blue, and i would find myself carrying on a conversation with my imaginary version of my mother. It went a little deeper than what you would think, i would actually speak both roles (hers and mine) out loud. I made her cunning. Able to predict my every rebuttal. Before i realized it im doing spoken word on the side of the road. Now this was the days before cell phones were so small they can fit in the change poket of your jeans. So me speaking to myself on the side of the rode definetly made an impression to onlookers.
But i can honestly say, that's where i honed my skills, i rapped, sang, beatbox, made up stories, and argued with my imaginary mother, emotions and all, walking Ventura Road, Oxnard Blvd, Channel Islands, Saviors rd, everywhere. I worked out problems, ran away from home temporarily (long story), everything. From elementary till my senior year, 80% of where i wanted to go i walked, for hours at a time i would walk, and because of that and who i became you are reading this now. I thank you for that.
I'm in San Diego now. I drive most places. really have no one to answer to and no reason to make up conversations and stories except to share with you so that i don't lose that child in me. Sometimes now, i make up conversations on what i would tell the teenage me if i could. If i found a Delorean and could shoot back in time, what would that conversation be like. What would i ask 50 year old Gill if i could go in the opposite direction? I have no regrets. Life has been good to me. But i would have some interesting things to say to 12 year old Gill.
Here is your challenge if you choose to accept it:
Set your alarm for 10 minutes. close your eyes and have an imaginary conversation with the the 2021 version of you. Let him or her speak frankly to you. I know a lot of people give you advice. It's on talk shows, internet, movies. Just this once, listen to what you have to tell yourself. I think we have always had the answers. Often we are just afraid to listen.
these challenges come strictly from spirit. I have no clue as to what im going to write when i sit down monday nights. I didn't even know that i was going to start offering weekly challenges. i just know this is for you. Don't ask me how i know, i just do. So do it! ha ha!
On Another Note:
Its a month of love, black history, and my birthday. Is there no greater month than feburary? Because of that, im going to include a very sexy/romantic song for you. It's off my album Flawed American Male. It's called "I Can't Imagine" and its featuring none other than the legendary Kevin Sandbloom (pictured above). I feel so blessed to have worked with him. He is simply amazing and has a voice like no other. This is the perfect gift to give to someone you love. And since i love you all equally, i present this to you. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!
Until Then,
Be Now
Gill
For show schedule, booking, and free downloads go to:
www.gillsotu.com
Train of Thought Open Mic Experience
Every Tuesday Night
www.trainofthoughtsd.com
Racing Shadows (a tortoise tale)
What's Good Family,
It's me again, sorry i missed last week. i have good reason, MLK Day! My favorite performance of the year, and the start of my busi-ness. Mad love to all that book me, but its funny how i get really popular around MLK and Black History Month. Actually it's not so funny, either I'm just that good or we don't have enough black men saying things of substance. Perhaps both. The interesting thing is that if you actually speak to someone from the "hood" or has hood mentality, most of them are quite brilliant and aware of what is going on around them. So why don't we hear more from them, us, me, (young black men and women). Maybe it's like the interlude on Blackstar's album states, "even my conditioning has been conditioned" And all we care about is how we external sucess. Or it could be not enough of us are listening.
Recently i have reading Jay-z's autobiography. As a man born into hip-hop, as well as being a DJ and emcee, i thought i had a good grasp on what it means to be a part of its culture. But to hear it from his level and perspective, i realized there is a lot i missed. Especially how hip-hop it has changed us all, even those of us who don't listen to it.
And that brings us around full circle again. What Dr. King was about, why i go out all the time, performing for change or free just to be heard. Why i use the acronym S.O.T.U (Soundtrack of The Unheard) to define who i am. Why i often feel i am constantly running, racing against the acomplishments of those who have come before me, racing shadows. What this is all about is that people just want to be heard. To know that they have voice. Knowing that if the powers that be can't hear them individually, then we will let our music speak for us. We will play it at intersection and through parking lots. That loud consistent thump is passion unfocused. Reaching out to anyone who will listen, will you listen, we are showing you what you have been so curious about, will you really listen?
Here is your challenge for the week:
Discover what your soundtrack is, the music that truly defines you. Share your favorites with someone who doesn't know them and explain why they mean so much to you. Why that music says what you have been trying to for so long. Then take a radical step and listen as they share theirs. I mean, if you have to go running, racing against time, people, choices, shadows...at least do it to good music!
On Another Note:
Jerrica and I are almost done with the first draft of our book together. its gonna be a beast!! Uber-excited. Creativity has been pouring out of me lately, get ready for new joints soon.
I'm also gearing up to release a DJ mix-tape. Ya'll have been asking for it so im gonna come through. book first of course. And finally train of thought has been kicking off with a blast. Every tuesday im excited to see what's gonna happen! Dope undiscovered talent? Someone hilarously horrible? Whatever it is we always making it fun and fresh. join us: www.trainofthoughtsd.com
On A Personal Note:
I had some amazing shows this week. One in Ojai, where they treated me like royalty, and the other at the San Diego Jewish Academy, where they treated me like a rockstar. I am very touched that a $10 dollar a week for lunch a day kid from Oxnard would be accepted so enthusiastically. It goes to show you how much you can touch someone and not even know it. i didnt grow up thinking i was going to be a performer. i always wanted to play the background. God had other plans for me, im just glad i shut up and listened. Thanks for the hugs and love, and for those kids who came up for a second round of hugs, a double thank you to you. You say i inspire you, you have no idea how much the opposite is true.
Until then, be now
Remember the Light
Gill
Tell a friend to join in on our little talks, and write back id love to hear from you.
www.gillsotu.com
It's me again, sorry i missed last week. i have good reason, MLK Day! My favorite performance of the year, and the start of my busi-ness. Mad love to all that book me, but its funny how i get really popular around MLK and Black History Month. Actually it's not so funny, either I'm just that good or we don't have enough black men saying things of substance. Perhaps both. The interesting thing is that if you actually speak to someone from the "hood" or has hood mentality, most of them are quite brilliant and aware of what is going on around them. So why don't we hear more from them, us, me, (young black men and women). Maybe it's like the interlude on Blackstar's album states, "even my conditioning has been conditioned" And all we care about is how we external sucess. Or it could be not enough of us are listening.
Recently i have reading Jay-z's autobiography. As a man born into hip-hop, as well as being a DJ and emcee, i thought i had a good grasp on what it means to be a part of its culture. But to hear it from his level and perspective, i realized there is a lot i missed. Especially how hip-hop it has changed us all, even those of us who don't listen to it.
And that brings us around full circle again. What Dr. King was about, why i go out all the time, performing for change or free just to be heard. Why i use the acronym S.O.T.U (Soundtrack of The Unheard) to define who i am. Why i often feel i am constantly running, racing against the acomplishments of those who have come before me, racing shadows. What this is all about is that people just want to be heard. To know that they have voice. Knowing that if the powers that be can't hear them individually, then we will let our music speak for us. We will play it at intersection and through parking lots. That loud consistent thump is passion unfocused. Reaching out to anyone who will listen, will you listen, we are showing you what you have been so curious about, will you really listen?
Here is your challenge for the week:
Discover what your soundtrack is, the music that truly defines you. Share your favorites with someone who doesn't know them and explain why they mean so much to you. Why that music says what you have been trying to for so long. Then take a radical step and listen as they share theirs. I mean, if you have to go running, racing against time, people, choices, shadows...at least do it to good music!
On Another Note:
Jerrica and I are almost done with the first draft of our book together. its gonna be a beast!! Uber-excited. Creativity has been pouring out of me lately, get ready for new joints soon.
I'm also gearing up to release a DJ mix-tape. Ya'll have been asking for it so im gonna come through. book first of course. And finally train of thought has been kicking off with a blast. Every tuesday im excited to see what's gonna happen! Dope undiscovered talent? Someone hilarously horrible? Whatever it is we always making it fun and fresh. join us: www.trainofthoughtsd.com
On A Personal Note:
I had some amazing shows this week. One in Ojai, where they treated me like royalty, and the other at the San Diego Jewish Academy, where they treated me like a rockstar. I am very touched that a $10 dollar a week for lunch a day kid from Oxnard would be accepted so enthusiastically. It goes to show you how much you can touch someone and not even know it. i didnt grow up thinking i was going to be a performer. i always wanted to play the background. God had other plans for me, im just glad i shut up and listened. Thanks for the hugs and love, and for those kids who came up for a second round of hugs, a double thank you to you. You say i inspire you, you have no idea how much the opposite is true.
Until then, be now
Remember the Light
Gill
Tell a friend to join in on our little talks, and write back id love to hear from you.
www.gillsotu.com
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